The Magic's in the Karp
by neo carbuncle
Summary: my first ever fic, please be kind... its about a sick pikachu and friends of mine


'Twas a normal day in the land of Pokemon the Pidgeotto's were out chirping and the Beedrill's were trying to have sex with them, and thus begins the start of this story. It was a normal day for Ash Ketchum. He woke up, pretend to know what he was doing while grooming pikachu and eating all of the food, which pissed Misty right off.  
"Ash, how could you! We all have to eat you know!"  
"We do? Jeez Misty sorry!"  
Misty sighs and turns to see Brock, going though his bag  
"Well Mist I think I have a little bit of bread left here so we can make toa- hey!"  
Brock yelled in surprise as Ash hand darts forward grabs the bread and shoves it greedily into his mouth and gave his friends a stupid grin.  
"That's it, Ash Ketchum I am gonna give you a ass-whooping you'll never forget!"  
"Calm down misty" Brock says to his enraged friend as he held her back in his arms as Ash hides up in the tree he just climbed "were near a town so we can get some supplies" he continued to his friend as her rage subsided. Then weird noise was heard by all it was a loud squeaky moaning yell, and all eyes turn to see pikachu in a squatting position  
"Pikachuuuuuuu!!!!!!" as the poor little rat continued on as what could only to be described as a Dragonball z imitation, then it fell on to its fat ass with a "Chaaa.." as it wiped its sweaty brow with its petit paw.  
"I think something wrong with pikachu!" Ash squealed in horror fearing his great strategy of electrocuting everything was going to be lost.  
"It does look a bit weird." misty replied as she picked up Togepi who had just awoke with a roar of its maniacal laughter.  
"We better take it to a nurse Joy!" Ash cried in hysterics only fit for bad Spanish soap operas,  
"Nurse Joy!" Brock yelled as he graved pikachu by the tail and started sprinted of into the distance "here comes your Brocky-Poo with a pokemon whose life is in your beautiful hands!" With Pikachu's head bouncing across the ground.  
  
Soon after Misty and Ash caught up with the love struck Brock and heavily brain damaged pikachu they entered the city.  
"So what's the name of this place?" misty asked with false interested while Togepi tried to grope at her boobs,   
"This sign says its Egdod City - the city of the infamous insane trainers…I never heard of any insane trainers, who are they?" Ash asked as he turned around to face his friend hoping for an answer from them.  
"Well all I have heard is they don't like losing in pokemon battles, and they call their gym Pokemopolis which is near the Pokemon Center so we better go coz pikachu doesn't look too good." Brock said as they all looks at the limp pokemon in his arms as massive lumps appear on its tiny yellow head.  
"Lets go then" misty yelled as they started to run down the street and then turned around because they went in the wrong direction.  
  
"Nurse Joy please help my pikachu!" as he slammed it ass down on the counter "I think its dying or something" nurse joy turned and smiled,  
"Of course I will help it" she gave him a wink "that's my job after all" she said as she handed the pokemon to Chancey, her own pokemon "Chancey examination room 4 please"  
"Chancey!"   
And off went Nurse Joy with pikachu.  
  
What seemed like 2 hours later to Ash (10 minutes to the rest of us) Nurse Joy returned with what seemed to be a happy pikachu with a bandage around its head that looked like a turban.  
"So Joy what's the mater with pikachu? Is it gonna be okay?" Ash asked as he nearly knocked the nurse flat on her ass as he ran up to her.  
"Your pikachu is just fine it has a mild concussion and its constipated, take this card to the gym and they'll give you some medicine to help your pikachu." Ash was confused he had never heard of constipation before he knew of concussion's cause he had Plenty of them before from when Misty whacked him too hard with a hammer, oh well he thought I better get this medicine. And off Ash went to the gym.  
  
Soon Ash met back up with Brock and Misty; they didn't go to the pokemon center because of Misty urge to shop and Brocks urge to get a closer look at a house with a red light.  
Soon the Twerp Trio get to the Egdod gym which was closed " closed?! They can't be closed! What about my pikachu?" Ash screamed at the locked door.  
"Hey! Stop yelling kid, what's your problem anyway?" the Twerp Trio turns around to see a professional pair of pokemon trainers. A boy was slim with brown hair blue eyes and glasses. And a girl who was tall and sexy, with long flowing purple hair and green eyes.  
"Umm, who are you?" Misty asked the older trainers with a little bit of fear in her voice,  
"Were are pair of the infamous insane trainers, I'm Jazz and this here is Carbuncle" the tall girl replied "but the real question is who are who three?" Jazz continued as she learned forward letting the trio get a glimpse of her breasts.  
"Jazzzzzzzz!" Brock moaned as he started to drool,  
"Not now Brock" Misty yelled as she carted him off by the ear, she was obviously jealous of the older girls cleavage.  
"So were are the gym leaders?" Ash asked impatiently and annoyed at the fact that he was being ignored.  
"Oh, you must mean Tim, Lex and Brandon they have been missing for some time…. Lets see" Carbuncle replied to the impatient runt " the last time I saw Tim he was running around the town half naked with his pokemon Koffing and declaring war against Weezings and rocketshippers."  
"What's a rocketshipper?" Ash asked as he butted in   
"Hey No interrupting!" Carbuncle yelled as he whacked Ash over the head "now lets see, Lex was last seen with a tall blonde guy and saying they were going to practise breeding and well Brandon was last seen in 1998 wearing a tin-foil hat in a lighting storm"  
"What! so no one runs the gym!?" Ash screamed in horror of the fact that he couldn't get a badge and the fact that pikachu was still sick.  
"We didn't say that" Jazz said as she poked him with her finger "the gym is now run by the gym leaders underlings mainly us and other few trainers in the town" then she poked him again to get the message across "so what do you want from us?" Jazz asked as she peered down at Ash  
"Here" he replied as he handed her a note, she quickly glanced over it, holding back giggles she pasts the note to her partner, Carbuncle looking at the note bursts into laughter and ran off.  
"Where's he going?" Misty asked as he left while Togepi continued trying to grope her boobs.  
"To get what is needed" Jazz replied with a sly wink. Carbuncle soon returned carrying a disgruntled looking short girl who was holding a jar.  
"Okay guys this is Hewie she has something for you" carbuncle said with a large grin on his face.  
"Here" Hewie said thrusting the jar into Ash's arms "pickled Magikarp scales best thing for constipation" and with that she whistled and a large Houndoom appeared to which she jumped on its back and rode of with a yee-hah!  
  
Meanwhile the true heroes of pokemon are busy off in the bushes…  
"Oh Jesse it's so tight!"  
"Come on James you can do it!"   
"I'm too big I won't fit!"  
"Try harder"  
"Do you two needs some help?"  
"Go away Meowth! We can do it by ourselves!"  
"Yeah, that's right Jesse! Ooh! I'm finally in!"  
"Oh James!"  
"Oh Jesse!"  
"We should of have swapped clothes along time ago your pants are comfy"  
"And I like a breeze between my knees!"  
  
And now back to the twerps.  
"So what do I do with the scales?" Ash asks showing his blatant stupidity.  
"You feed them to Pikachu, Ash why don't you read the label" Carbuncle replied with a bored tone.  
"Fine" Ash growls at carbuncle for pointing out his own stupidity "it says Hewie's Pickled Magikarp scales 'the magic's in the Karp!' extra strength brand" Ash looks down at pikachu who is still wearing its bandage/turban. "well here you go pikachu" Ash says as he opens th jar and gives pikachu a scale.  
"Umm, Ash did you just give pikachu a whole scale?" Jazz asked with a hint of fear in her voice.  
"Yeah why?"  
"We better run then," Jazz said turning to her partner and they started sprinting as fast as they can away.  
"What's their problem?" Brock asked as the watched the tow trainers peer from behind a tree a great distance away.  
"I dunno" misty said feeling happier seeing Jazz and her hooters were gone. Suddenly pikachu stomach began to rumble,  
"Pii" it moaned and then there was silence….KA-BOOM! Pika-poo came flying out of the pikachu' s butt covering everyone who was close to it.  
"Now I see why they ran" Misty said covered in shit and not caring that Togepi was laughing when the event happened and was choking on pika-poo.  
"Jazz told you to run!" Carbuncle yelled at the pooped on trio from behind the tree "And now you have to clean up the mess you made"  
"At least pikachu is better!" ash said to his fellow poo-covered companions  
"Pika!" squeaked the electric rat whose body now resembled a lollypop.  
  
Meanwhile back to the heroes..  
"Did ya see dat!" Meowth said with giggling at the fact that the twerp trio is up to their necks in shit.  
"Yeah" James said with a nod "a diet that really works!"  
"I've got a great idea!" Jesse proclaimed to her fellow Rocket members, "how we can get back at that brat!"  
"Dress him up as pudding and send him to Shane Warne?"  
"No James, but we'll holds on to that idea. Just as insurance if my idea doesn't work, but it will of course" Jesse said giving her partner a sly wink "We'll teach that twerp who boss!"  
"Yeah lets go!" said Meowth with a burst enthusiasm, then all three ran off to get ready for their plan of revenge.  
  
Soon night had come and the twerp trio had to sleep out side of the gym.  
"This is all your fault Ash Katchum!" Misty yelled at her stinky friend "because of you no one will let us inside! Not even Joy at the pokemon center!"  
"Yeah" Brock chimed in "And no girls ever gonna love me now that I reek of Pokemon shit!" as he broke in to a fit of crying that made sailor moon look like Lina Inverse.  
"Sorry guys" Carbuncle said as he poked he head out of the door with a clothes peg on his nose, "Even if you didn't stink, tonight's our 'poker' night insane trainers only! Plus we don't think you your old enough to play 'poker' with us"   
"Hey I am too old enough!" Ash proclaimed even though he had never heard of how to play poker.  
"I don't think you are old enough little boy" the twerp trio turns to see a tall looking girlie boy in a silk shirt and Hewie the girl they met before.  
"Hi Daryoon did you bring the whips? Everybody's was waiting for you to arrive"  
"Got them here in my bag"  
"Great lets go play 'poker' with the others then!" and with that Carbuncle, Hewie and Daryoon went inside, slamming the door behind them  
"Daryoon! What a beautiful name for a beautiful wife!" Brock moans lost in his fantasies.  
  
Soon, the Ash, Misty and Brock were asleep outside, with pikachu struggling to breath as Ash clutched it to his bosom and Togepi giggling like a mad man after finishing groping Misty's boobs and headed over to Brock.  
"Looks like dat der asleep" Meowth whispered to his friends,  
"Perfect…now lets swipe there food!" Jesse said with glee as Team Rocket grabbed anything edible and were off with 'Eeeee!' from James.  
Soon the sun had risen and the loud yelling from inside the gym had died down  
"Morning!" Ash yawned as he woke up and looked in his bag for food, "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" he screamed like a little girl who lost her princess doll. "THERES NO FOOD!" and even with these loud out bursts his friends still slept, it was a skill they had picked up, ignoring meaning less sounds coming from Ash.  
"Don't worry little boy!" two girls said as they came bursting one with red pigtails the other with short blue hair "we tell no lies, so will you'll buy our pies!"  
"What kind of pies are there?" Ash asked greedily drool dripping from his big mouth  
"Special pies made from a secret recipe!" the red pigtails said  
"Cool!" the one with blue hair, added while putting on more make up.   
"How much are they?" Ash asked with intense hunger those pie looked so good to him,  
"Cool!" the blue hair one said again  
"How much you got?" the red pigtails asked Ash. He looked into his wallet $50 he was going to by more food for travelling he shouldn't spend it with out Misty or Brock there, but then again he could always mooch of the next sucker in the next town.  
"Will this do?" he asked showing the $50.  
"Cool!" blue hair said again, really grinding away at everyone's nerves,  
"It'll do" red pigtails said as she grabbed the money and shoved the basket of pies at Ash "Sorry no change!" she said and was off in a flash with the blue hair giggling like a schoolgirl right after her.  
  
"Maybe I should save some for Misty and Brock" Ash said to him self as he munched his way through the pies The pies were certainly different they were full of red crunchy bits. Soon after Ash had eaten all of the pies except for a small one he had left for Brock and Misty to share he felt a bit queasy. "I don't feel so good" he moaned as he clutched his stomach "I really need to go!" he cried as he started to bang on the door of the gym hoping to get to the bathroom inside, but there was no answer. Ash thinking hard (a new concept there) remembers seeing a public toilet in the park and ran off towards there holding his stomach and his butt. Soon Ash had made it to the park without getting lost (there's dumb-luck and a miracle for you) busted open the door to the toilets got in and sat down on the newest loo. "Ooohhh yyeeaaahhh!!!!! That feeeeeeels sooo good!" Ash moaned as he relieved himself, making his own gas that could make a Koffing ashamed to be called the poison gas pokemon. Serval minutes later after the burning sensation stopped ash went to grab some toilet paper, but all he was thin air. There was no toilet paper! "Oh no!" Ash wailed "t looks like Ash Ketchum is in deep shit again!"  
  
Fin.  
  
The Moral of the story is you have to at lest 16 to play 'poker' and revenge will always leave a burning sensation. 


End file.
